The story line is really easy to follow but some of the voices can't be heard in the early scenes, you might want to put some title cards in half way through to explain the characters actions
You have demonstrated that you understand the Codes and Conventions for a Realist Soap, a wide variety of shot types used and the song suits the genre very well. In addition to Danny's comment, the voices in the earlier scenes cannot be heard very well; however a very good First draft! :-)
Music works well with the narrative, the heartbeat fits in really well. I think maybe use a bit of the dialogue scenes at the end to break up the trailer a bit. Was really good though :)
This is really good as a first draft, i like the way the background music really suits and matches what is happening in the trailer. The dialouge in some of the early scenes is a bit quiet and its a little bit hard to hear what is being said but its a good first draft :-)
This is sick, you have used alot of shot types and the storyline is interesting. The music also works well with the narrative the heartbeat fits in really well. :)
Most of the thought beats worked in time, but it was notiable wthe changes of scenes and topics that didn't. The slowmotion at 24 seconds has included the voice making it deeper which youmight want the remove or use a different recording of dialogue to layer over ontop :) You have some awesome actors
Amazing for a first draft, interesting storyline and a variety of shot types used, also the beat to the song matches the pace of the video perfectly and the heartbeat increased the intensity of the video. Good work :D
Very good, impressed. Nice range of shots. Also the backing track is a good choice, the added non-diegetic sound such as the heart beat are great additions. I'm looking forward to seeing your next draft. Big things are expected!
Good but can be much better. As I've said MANY times before, you need the dialogue between Tim and Tom at the end and get rid of the heart beat. If you rely on sound effects like that too much it sems like you don't have confidence in your editing skills or your footage. Still think the song isn't adult enough for the themes you are tackling- you need something with a bit more gravity. Also cut the sound on the first shot through the window of the bar and some of your dialogue is too quiet.
Very good first draft! A wide variety of shots used but the dialogue needs to be clear throughout. The heartbeat is very effective as it builds the tension, well done!
The story line is really easy to follow but some of the voices can't be heard in the early scenes, you might want to put some title cards in half way through to explain the characters actions
ReplyDelete:)
You have demonstrated that you understand the Codes and Conventions for a Realist Soap, a wide variety of shot types used and the song suits the genre very well. In addition to Danny's comment, the voices in the earlier scenes cannot be heard very well; however a very good First draft! :-)
ReplyDeleteMusic works well with the narrative, the heartbeat fits in really well. I think maybe use a bit of the dialogue scenes at the end to break up the trailer a bit. Was really good though :)
ReplyDeleteThis is really good as a first draft, i like the way the background music really suits and matches what is happening in the trailer. The dialouge in some of the early scenes is a bit quiet and its a little bit hard to hear what is being said but its a good first draft :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is sick, you have used alot of shot types and the storyline is interesting. The music also works well with the narrative the heartbeat fits in really well. :)
ReplyDeleteMusic matches the tense atmosphere and there is a good range of shot types. Just make sure the voices and dialogue is head clearly throughout
ReplyDeleteMost of the thought beats worked in time, but it was notiable wthe changes of scenes and topics that didn't. The slowmotion at 24 seconds has included the voice making it deeper which youmight want the remove or use a different recording of dialogue to layer over ontop :)
ReplyDeleteYou have some awesome actors
Amazing for a first draft, interesting storyline and a variety of shot types used, also the beat to the song matches the pace of the video perfectly and the heartbeat increased the intensity of the video. Good work :D
ReplyDeleteVery good, impressed. Nice range of shots. Also the backing track is a good choice, the added non-diegetic sound such as the heart beat are great additions. I'm looking forward to seeing your next draft. Big things are expected!
ReplyDeleteGood but can be much better. As I've said MANY times before, you need the dialogue between Tim and Tom at the end and get rid of the heart beat. If you rely on sound effects like that too much it sems like you don't have confidence in your editing skills or your footage. Still think the song isn't adult enough for the themes you are tackling- you need something with a bit more gravity. Also cut the sound on the first shot through the window of the bar and some of your dialogue is too quiet.
ReplyDeleteVery good first draft! A wide variety of shots used but the dialogue needs to be clear throughout. The heartbeat is very effective as it builds the tension, well done!
ReplyDelete